Getting a Dementia Diagnosis: What to Expect and How to Support Your Parent

Topic cluster: Dementia & Memory Care | Reading time: 6 min

Noticing signs of memory loss or cognitive change in a parent is frightening. Many families wait months or even years before seeking a formal diagnosis — sometimes from a desire to avoid bad news, sometimes because a parent refuses to acknowledge the problem. But an early diagnosis unlocks access to support, benefits, and treatment options that can genuinely improve quality of life. This guide explains the diagnosis process in the UK and how to navigate it as a family.

Why Diagnosis Matters

A formal diagnosis of dementia:

• Gives access to specialist support services and memory clinics
• Enables legal planning (LPAs, Advance Decisions) while capacity remains
• Opens eligibility for benefits including Attendance Allowance
• Helps family members understand the illness and plan ahead
• Can unlock NHS Continuing Healthcare assessment in later stages
• Gives your parent — and your family — a name for what is happening

Dementia is not a normal part of ageing. The earlier a diagnosis is made, the more options are available.

Step 1: Recognise the Signs

Common early warning signs include:

• Repeating questions or stories within the same conversation
• Forgetting recent events while remembering the distant past clearly
• Getting lost in familiar surroundings
• Difficulty managing money, bills, or cooking
• Changes in personality or behaviour — withdrawal, irritability, or unusual behaviour
• Problems finding words or following conversations
• Poor judgement or decision-making

If these signs are present for several weeks or more, it is time to speak to a GP.

Step 2: The GP Appointment

The first step is a GP consultation. The GP will typically:

• Ask about symptoms, their onset, and how they affect daily life
• Conduct a brief cognitive assessment — often the Mini-Mental State Examination (MMSE) or the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA)
• Rule out reversible causes of confusion (UTIs, thyroid problems, B12 deficiency, depression, medication side effects)
• Refer to a memory clinic or specialist for further assessment

Tips for the GP appointment:

• ☐ Attend with your parent if they consent
• ☐ Bring a list of symptoms you've noticed and when they started
• ☐ Bring a list of current medications
• ☐ Note any family history of dementia
• ☐ Be honest — don't downplay symptoms

Your parent has the right to attend alone, but many find it helpful to have a family member present.

Step 3: Memory Clinic Assessment

Following GP referral, your parent will be assessed at a memory clinic — usually run by an NHS mental health trust. Waiting times vary but are typically 6–12 weeks.

The memory clinic assessment includes:

The assessment usually takes 2–4 hours over one or more appointments.

Step 4: Receiving the Diagnosis

If dementia is confirmed, a specialist — usually a consultant psychiatrist, geriatrician, or neurologist — will explain:

• The type of dementia (Alzheimer's, vascular, Lewy body, frontotemporal, or mixed)
• The stage and what to expect
• Whether medication may help (e.g., acetylcholinesterase inhibitors for Alzheimer's)
• What support services are available locally
• What to do next

You and your parent may feel a mix of relief, grief, fear, and sadness. This is completely normal. Ask for the diagnosis to be confirmed in writing, and request a follow-up appointment.

If a GP Dismisses Your Concerns

Some families report that a GP attributed memory problems to "normal ageing" and declined to refer. If this happens:

• Ask specifically for a memory clinic referral
• Request a second opinion from another GP within the practice
• Contact the Alzheimer's Society helpline (0333 150 3456) for advice on how to push for a referral
• In some areas, self-referral to a memory clinic is possible

You are your parent's advocate. Persistence is often necessary.

Diagnosis in People with Learning Disabilities

People with Down's syndrome have a significantly higher lifetime risk of developing Alzheimer's disease. Diagnosis can be more complex in people with existing learning disabilities, and baseline assessments taken in earlier years become critical for comparison. Specialist services exist — ask the GP about referral routes.

After Diagnosis

Once diagnosis is confirmed:

• Arrange LPAs as soon as possible while capacity remains
• Contact the local authority for a Care Needs Assessment
• Apply for Attendance Allowance (if over 65)
• Contact the Alzheimer's Society or Dementia UK for local support groups
• Begin discussing future care preferences with your parent while they can still express their wishes

Understanding what comes next? homeformum.com helps families find dementia-specialist care homes and plan the transition with confidence.

Related articles: Types of Dementia Explained | Stages of Dementia | What to Do After a Dementia Diagnosis | When Should Someone with Dementia Go into a Care Home?